


Young Woman's Fancy

by wig_powder



Category: Hornblower (TV), Hornblower - C. S. Forester
Genre: Gen, Humor, Sneezing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-23 07:56:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20888735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wig_powder/pseuds/wig_powder
Summary: During the brief post-war period when Horatio's on half-pay, he comes across a woman who makes him an...unusual offer.





	Young Woman's Fancy

Horatio pulled his thin cloak around him, shivering a little. This half-pay life was growing more and more frustrating by the day. He hated going from day to day not knowing if he’d be able to pay the rent, or if he’d be able to buy something warm to eat. It would have been bad enough if it was the middle of summer; here in winter, it was maddening.

“You seem down on your luck, Lieutenant.” Horatio glanced around, but he was the only one in Naval uniform. “Lieutenant!” the voice called again, and Horatio looked behind him. A young woman in a dark red cloak was leaning against a nearby doorframe. “Hello, Lieutenant.”

Horatio cleared his throat. “Good afternoon, Miss. Can I help you?”

“I think the question is, can I help _you_?”

Horatio blinked. She smiled slyly. “You look like you need a cup of tea and somewhere to keep warm for an hour or two.”

The offer of tea was tempting, but Horatio’s coin was short enough as it was, and he didn’t want to be an imposition in any case. “It’s lovely of you to offer, miss, but I couldn’t possibly…”

She waved her hand dismissively. “It’s no trouble. Please, do a girl a favor and accept her hospitality.”

Horatio hesitated again. “Come in, come in!” she said, gesturing towards the door, “If it’s money you’re worried about, let it be. This one’s on me.”

Swallowing nervously, Horatio followed her inside. “Very kind of you, Miss…”

“Bell,” she said, removing her cloak and gesturing for him to do the same, “Elise Bell. Call me Elise.”

Horatio blinked at her forwardness, but decided to humor her. “If you insist, Elise. My name is Horatio Hornblower.”

He had the distinct impression she was hiding a smile. “Hornblower, eh? Pleasure to make your acquaintance. Come on, this way. You look like you could use a warm cup of tea.”

Horatio followed her, glancing around the house as he passed. It was certainly a very grand house; this family clearly didn’t lack for money. Pushing down the bitter feelings, he made his way to what he thought was the kitchen.

He was extremely surprised, therefore, when he found himself in what appeared to be the lady’s bedroom. The room was much finer than anything he’d seen yet. There were actually paintings on the ceiling, and every piece of furniture was finely carved. And then there was the four-poster bed, that nearly scraped the ceiling, covered in crimson wall hangings and laid out with pale pink sheets. “Miss Elise, I think there’s been some sort of mistake…” he began.

“No mistake, Mr. Hornblower,” Elise said smoothly, “I prefer to serve tea in the bedroom, especially if there’s only one guest. The parlor is for fancier gatherings. Just sit yourself down, I won’t be a moment.”

With that, she went out of the room, her skirts rustling loudly. Horatio took a seat at the little table near the bed and folded his hands nervously. Even if this was the way things were done in the house, it still felt inappropriate to be in her bedroom. No doubt this was a family of eccentrics; her father or husband was no doubt even odder. He allowed himself to smile, contenting himself with the thought that it would be a good story to tell at the card table.

Elise returned five minutes later, carrying a silver tray with gold-tinted teacups on it. “Here we are. Best let it cool another minute.”

He nodded, and she sat down across from him. “Tell me about yourself, Mr. Hornblower. Your uniform says that you were in the navy, but I get the feeling that the end of the war has not been kind to you.”

Horatio bristled, but decided to indulge her. He talked briefly about his career (leaving out the part about having been made Commander just as the war ended, as that was something he didn’t want to think about), and acknowledged that yes, he was a little hard up, but playing cards suited him well enough for the time being. She listened to him with genuine interest, nodding every so often and asking for details. When he’d finished, she took a sip of her tea and asked, “So, Mr. Hornblower, did I catch you going to or from the card house?”

“From,” Horatio said, “Everyone was leaving for the afternoon, and I thought it best to return home and get some sleep until the place filled up again in the evening.”

“No, no,” he reassured her with a smile, “I appreciate your generosity. And this tea is excellent; it should keep me awake until this evening. Since I have nowhere pressing to be, I would be more than willing to stay and chat, if that is what you wish.”

She smiled warmly. “Oh, thank you, Mr. Hornblower. I’m glad you’re free to take it on.”

Horatio blinked, puzzled by her choice of words. She set her cup down and leaned towards him. “Tell me, Mr. Hornblower…may I call you Horatio?”

Horatio nodded. “Well, then, Horatio, I’ve enjoyed your stories about your nautical adventures. But what about your social life? Parents, wife, children, friends? I find it hard to believe that a gentleman such as you has no acquaintances to his name.”

Horatio shrugged; at this point in the conversation, he was used to her bizarre lines of inquiry. “My parents have passed away, sad to say. Due to my current circumstances, having a wife would be unwise. I do have friends, but we all move in similar circles. I’m afraid there’s not much more to say.”

Elise’s eyes glittered strangely. “I do hope you’ll consider me among your friends, Horatio.”

He smiled. “If you would like me to, it would be an honor, Miss Elise. But I deserve to know more about you. Tell me about yourself. Where is your husband?”

She laughed, which Horatio thought an odd response. “I have no husband, Horatio.”

Horatio was both surprised and unsurprised, given that she seemed fairly young. Perhaps her father wasn’t allowing her to marry yet. “I see. Then you are still living with your parents.”

She shook her head. “This house is my own.”

Horatio was flabbergasted. “Yours? How can you possibly run it on your own?”

“Oh, I have plenty of servants to help keep the place clean. It’s not as difficult at you might suppose.”

“But how could you possibly…”

At that moment, a maid entered. “Forgive me, Miss, but there’s a man at the door for you.”

“Did he leave his card?” Elise said, noticing the tray in the maid’s hand. She took the offered card and made a derisive noise. “I _told_ him not to call on me until tomorrow. Pray tell, was he carrying anything?”

“A thin black box that rattled, Miss.”

“Ah, the old romantic,” Elise said, shaking her head, “Pray excuse me, Horatio, I must talk to him briefly.”

With that, she got up and moved to her dressing table, where she picked up an ornate glass bottle and sprayed a fine mist around herself. “Won’t be a moment!” she said, exiting the room.

Horatio remained seated, completely nonplussed by everything that had just happened. How could such a young woman run a house on her own? A widow? An orphan who lived in her house with a chaperone? And what had that last conversation been about?

While he was puzzling all this out, he’d noticed the faint scent of Elise’s perfume, heady and clearly very expensive. From a distance, the perfume had been inoffensive enough. Now, though, the scent was starting to permeate the entire room, and up close, the smell was overwhelming. He wasn’t sure if it was just the strength of the perfume, or if it was this particular scent that was setting him off, but it was certainly starting to affect his nose. Pulling out his handkerchief (both out of politeness, and because sneezing freely would probably cause him to inhale more of the perfumed air), he decided to let them loose. “_Heh…heh…Heh-kshh! Ishh! Ha-ptchh!_”

“I see you’ve already started,” Elise said as she entered the room again, “That’ll make proceedings so much easier.”

“What proceedings?” Horatio asked, sniffling wetly.

She looked at him almost sternly. “Really, Horatio, are you that thick? Surely, you’ve put all the pieces together by now.”

Horatio shook his head, feeling another sneeze building. She raised her eyebrows. “You’re either extremely naïve, or I’m not doing my job properly. I’m a courtesan, Horatio.”

Horatio was horrified, but he had a more pressing reaction to respond to. “_At-chh!_”. Elise was looking at him with something resembling affection when he raised his head. “Bless you.” Horatio found breath to respond to her previous statement. “You’re a _what?_”

She laughed a little. “So you _do _know about the profession. Good.” When Horatio kept staring at her, she turned slowly in a circle, letting him see her fine dress. “I’m not ashamed of my work, Horatio. I give pleasure to men, and they take care of me in return. Yes, people will disapprove, but they don’t have to come visit me.”

Horatio was still staring. “But…but…why did you bring _me_ inside? Surely I can’t be of any interest to you!”

“On the contrary,” she said with a wry smile, “You’re of quite a lot of interest to me.”

“Why?” Horatio demanded. She shook her head and came forward, overwhelming Horatio in another cloud of perfume. “All in good time, Horatio. First, however…”

She sat back in her chair and looked at him expectantly. Horatio was nonplussed; all he knew for certain was that he had to sneeze again. “_Et-shew! Tchiew! Tishoo!_”

When he looked up again, he was able to tell, despite his watery eyes, that Elise was smiling at him in a very satisfied manner. He tried to glare at her, but knew he was less than effective at this moment. She reached out and laid her hands on him. “Sneezing fascinates me, Horatio. I don’t know what it is, but it tends to make me much more, shall we say, eager in my romantic encounters. As such, I normally ask my gentleman to take a pinch of snuff before things begin in earnest, but in your case…” she looked him over, “I don’t think we’ll need that, now will we?”

Horatio held his handkerchief over his nose to keep from sneezing for a minute. “But I…I couldn’t possibly…”

“Don’t even _pretend_ that you aren’t interested in my charms, Horatio,” Elise said, “Everything you’ve said indicates that you are in desperate need of a good romp. Will you deny it?”

Horatio wasn’t sure how to answer that. She rolled her eyes. “Just answer this; do you want to come to bed with me? If not, feel free to have another cup of tea, then I’ll send you on your way. But if you are…”

Something in her tone prevented Horatio from refusing her “generous” offer immediately. He looked at her for a minute. There was no denying that she was pretty, and that she was in the habit of being discreet, if she so chose. But he had a reputation to think of, and besides, how could he possibly “take care of her” in her accustomed manner? He lowered the handkerchief and took a deliberate breath of perfumed air to stall for time. “_Heshh!_”

“Bless you,” she said, “Well?”

Horatio put the handkerchief back to his nose. “I…I need to think about it. Perhaps for now, we could just sit and talk? That may help me to make up my mind.”

She smiled. “I believe I can manage that.”

In the end, he wound up staying for three hours. Elise had a dinner prepared for them, despite Horatio’s protestations. They talked about the old war in France, some recent developments in London, and Elise regaled him with some of the social tales of the upper classes. The one thing they didn’t touch on too much was Elise’s career; there were some things Horatio just didn’t want to know. And of course, the perfume in the room continued to linger, so the conversation was punctuated every two minutes by Horatio’s sneezes. Somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to be properly embarrassed.

Finally, he glanced at his watch and stood up. “The card room is opening in another half-hour. I’d best be on my way. Thank you, Miss Elise, for your tea, dinner, and conversation. Forgive me for not…well, taking you up on your offer. I don’t think I could comfortably…”

She waved a hand to quiet him. “No, no, Horatio, it’s quite all right. I did get _some _pleasure out of the afternoon.”

Horatio flushed. “Before I go, however, I feel like I need to reimburse you for the dinner, at the very least. How much…”

She interrupted him again. “Don’t even think about it, Horatio. It’s my pleasure.”

“I don’t deny that I’m grateful for that, but my sneezing is far from an acceptable payment.”

She laughed. “It’s not just that, Horatio. I do this every year. I wander around London, looking for a sailor or soldier who could do with a bit of cheering up, and bring him here, no fee required.”

Horatio was still puzzled. “But why today?”

“Well, shouldn’t everyone have some romance in their lives on the day of love?”

Then Horatio remembered that today was February 14th. “That’s kind of you, Miss Elise.”

“It certainly makes for interesting stories. Well then, on your way, Horatio. And don’t worry; no one will ever hear from my lips that you visited me.”

Horatio bowed to her. “I appreciate it, my…lady.”

She smiled warmly. “Good luck tonight. Perhaps we’ll see each other around.”

Horatio left her then, dabbing his nose once more as he finally exited into fresh air. He couldn’t say that he was feeling particularly romantic, but he certainly felt a little better this Valentine’s Day.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for, but not actually posted for, tarotgal's Holiday Challenge. I only used one of the lines this time; "I’m glad you’re free to take it on".


End file.
